Taliban’s Tea Time

muhammad-cartoon19

I came across Fasi Zaka’s parody in “The News” today and thought it was hilarious.

Fasi, a Rhodes Scholar and former academic, has put together a short skit with two main actors – Breath (Bad) Nullah who heads the Taliban in Waziristan and Fuzz (Gandah) Nallah who is his compatriot in Swat.

Check it out below – My favorite line was “we must bamboozle the google”!
__________________________________________________________________

Breath (bad) Nullah: Welcome my friend. Please have some sherbet.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Thanks, vintage Rooh Afzah I see with a dash of B+’ve sprinkled on it.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Sorry, my friend, O-‘ve is in short supply.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: No problems, these are hard times.
Breath (bad) Nullah: For tonight’s entertainment I have arranged a moonlight barbeque, and some song.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Please! What is wrong with you, don’t you know going out in the moonlight is haram ever since the naapaak Americans put their foot on it without wuzoo?
Breath (bad) Nullah: Please forgive me, my noble friend. But the music I have arranged is absolutely halal, it is by the Village People (YMCA). There are no women in this group, nor do they have women in their music videos.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Good, good. Village People are my favorites. They are most important to our cause.
Breath (bad) Nullah: I have taken a new initiative. When animals and livestock are in heat, they shall be placed in separate quarters so they do not spread the disease of sex in the minds of innocent people.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes, the perverts. This is a longstanding problem in Pakistan that needed a solution.
Breath (bad) Nullah: All leaders and politicians are non-Muslims, who are in the hands of the CIA.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes. They only promote sex. Lots of sex.
Breath (bad) Nullah: They are destroying our nation by promoting sex. So immoral.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: That’s all they can think of, sex. We should ban sex.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Yes. And polio drops too.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: And women too. Because they spread sex.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Thank God we are not obsessed by sex.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes. We never think about sex. Only revolution!
Breath (bad) Nullah: But tell me, brother, how can we give a ghusl to the moon to make it paak again?
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Muslim Khan will do it. He says he can clean anything, and if not, then he will kill the moon. The moon is like a bad woman who seduced the Americans to come there.
Breath (bad) Nullah: We should also take action against Cartoon Network.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes, we should. Tom is always chasing Jerry. They are always naked.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Yes, it is an American conspiracy to spread sex.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: I think Indians are also involved.
Breath (bad) Nullah: We should also ban jokes.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: And everything modern. Except weapons.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Also, we should establish rule of law.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes. Only we should be able to authorize kidnappings and beheadings.
Breath (bad) Nullah: And in our caliphate people will not get sick.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: I will issue the fatwa against germs soon, banning them forever.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Good, then our ban on female doctors will work even better.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: The news has just come in! Our spokesperson Muslim Khan is injured, he may not be able to carry on the job!
Breath (bad) Nullah: It’s ok, Dr Shahid Masood is still there.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes, thank God the media is still on our side. We must tell our forces not to cut the throats of children.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Absolutely, we are not barbarians. Only children who want to go to school will have their throats slit.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: I am sure all sane men will see our compassion in that.
Breath (bad) Nullah: I am also working on destroying the great Satan, the Israeli- supported Internet.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: We will bamboozle the Google.
Breath (bad) Nullah: It will be our thrill kill.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Our next target should be the bees.
Breath (bad) Nullah: Yes, I have heard they promote indiscriminate sex between flowers.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: By the way, who is your favourite singer in the Village People?
Breath (bad) Nullah: The one with the big moustache.
Fuzz Gandah Nallah: He is best in their song “Macho Man,” like we are.
Breath (bad) Nullah: You got that straight.

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7 comments

  1. Haha! 🙂

    I love the cartoon! 😛

  2. Danish Khan · · Reply

    “Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes. They only promote sex. Lots of sex.
    Breath (bad) Nullah: They are destroying our nation by promoting sex. So immoral.
    Fuzz Gandah Nallah: That’s all they can think of, sex. We should ban sex.
    Breath (bad) Nullah: Yes. And polio drops too.
    Fuzz Gandah Nallah: And women too. Because they spread sex.
    Breath (bad) Nullah: Thank God we are not obsessed by sex.
    Fuzz Gandah Nallah: Yes. We never think about sex. Only revolution!”

    HAHAHA…Good one…not obsessed at all…

  3. I read that today and cracked up. LOVE the name Fuzz Gandah Nallah. Hahaha!

  4. I love tea time! Chai and Tuc by LU.

  5. Hahahaha- This is hilarious!
    I love the obsession with sex and women – and the moon na-pak thing is too funny!

  6. That was hilarious. Bamboozle the google. Ha!

  7. Noor Rizvi · · Reply

    Dude, friggin’ hilarious!!! Vintage!

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